Reflective Commentary
Looking back through my notes I see that although the course so far has been an incredibly positive experience I have also found it quite difficult.
Initially and at the beginning of almost every stage I struggled to understand what I was being asked to do and having never been an ‘artist’ I really struggled to let my imagination take hold. I felt this meant that I lacked the confidence in a lot of the exercises which meant I also lacked confidence in the quality of my work. I continued to tell myself that it is art and there are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answers, however even though I didn’t feel I was necessarily doing it ‘wrong’ I wasn’t completely sure I was doing it ‘right’ either!
I also struggled with letting go of afore learnt ‘rules’ about drawing and sewing which has become increasingly apparent that I have had drummed into me from an early age!
Once I had got going it became a lot easier and I am beginning to be able to avoid the ‘rules’ in my work. I am also finding it a lot easier to switch off my mind and thought processes to enable my imagination to take over and allow my creativity to just happen.
Each exercise took me a lot longer to complete that the allotted times, I think this was mainly due to the problems I had getting started and allowing myself extra time to switch off. The main difficulty in this was that I began to become frustrated and was worried that all of my pieces would just reflect this frustration. I therefore spent a lot of time sitting myself back and starting again or putting it off to another day.
As the course has gone on I have found it becoming easier to start and I feel I am quickly becoming more confident in my ability and work.
I am very pleased with what I have achieved and produced so far and feel my work has reflected what I wanted it to and developed at a satisfactory rate.
I have created pieces that have evoked feelings and texture and although I have never even considered working in this way before I feel I have produced some extremely effective results.
feelin' called love 
Interesting to read your response to oca textiles 1. I have only recently had my first assignment returned. But your commentary mirrored my own thoughts exactly. I hope you continue to gain in confidence and enjoy the journey.
Diane
Hi Alice,
Thank you for posting the link to your blog-based learning log. I too was looking for a textiles course that tapped into my skills with a needle and thread rather than a paintbrush or pencil. I received the materials for the course in September, but it has taken me this long to just get to the end of Project 1.
I identify completely with your mentioning not being an artist. I initially did a diploma course in fashion and textiles after school and felt that course was aimed more at artist/designers rather than people like me who enjoyed the technical side more. I also struggled with getting into the right mind set for letting my creative side explore new ways of approaching design. I have begun to get into this, especially recently and I think that is because I have started to release a lot of feelings about doing things the “right” or “proper” way, and not just in my creative life either. Also, I need to be happy and not worried thinking about other jobs that need doing because that just takes all the enjoyment away.
Sorry if I have off-loaded a bit, but when you work in isolation this way, you don’t have an opportunity to compare what you are doing or thinking with anyone.
I have also started a blog for the course, although I have begun to bung it up with other stuff that comes along, so it is not as tidy as yours! daisymarmalade.wordpress.com
Best wishes,
Katharine